The full moon lunar eclipse in May puts a huge cosmic push into expression and creativity that are birthed from a place of truth. It’s time for us to show up fully in the light, placing our most inward feelings into manifestation in the world.
With the moon in Scorpio, there will also be no hiding place for what is deceitful or inauthentic. As we see feelings expressed into life, we may get some surprises when it comes to existing structures and relationships in our personal lives. We are to take these are wise guidance, as we make choices going forward.
Meanwhile, the sun in Taurus shines a light into our hearts and what leading a life founded on what feels easeful, loving and like home to us, truly is. Certain things have been building inside at an intimate level and now is the time to release them into lifer, supported by the energy of the cosmos. This is a loving energy which puts a glow around all you have been working towards and hoping for in terms of your daily health and lifestyle and your individual offerings.
Allow yourself to move with this universal energy and be an open channel for spiritual and creative downloads. This is an exciting and pivotal time for conscious and spiritually-connected humans.
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The full moon is a time of powerful illumination and energetic charge. Certain stories in our lives seem to climax at these times, while others begin. If we want to be in a receiving state to soak up the energy and direct it to where in our life it is needed, then meditating during full moon is a gift. It allows us to harness, assimilate and benefit from these cosmic energies in positive ways.
Whatever you might have been looking to clear and release, whatever visions and dreams you still have waiting inside of you to manifest, wherever within you there are things asking for compassion and acceptance, and those blessings you wish for your loved ones and the wider world, this is a powerful and magical time to bring them into your meditation.
I will guide you gently and deeply into your own deep experience, to fill your being with this cosmic light and allow it to support the healing of what needs to be healed and the expansion of what is ready to grow.
There is a great question for unlocking exactly the meditation, action or micro-practice meant for us, and it is: “What Do I Need Right Now?”
Right now, our mind-bodies are craving a healthy, practical, and appealing connection to ourselves and to all that is happening to support our nervous systems in their work of de-stressing and healing. We need a meditation space where we can cultivate such engagement with an embrace of positive qualities of attention that include welcome, love, compassion, and curiosity—rather than a sterile space of non-judgment and clinical self-witnessing.
In this article, I offer you a repertoire of accessible, practical practices designed to meet a whole range of specific needs we may have right now. There is no requirement to find a special place or move away from what you are doing. You do not have to change anything about yourself or worry about how busy your brain is or how intense your feelings are. You can bring these practices into where you are, who you are, and what you have available right now.
There is a sweeter, softer voice inside you, waiting.
All you have to do is go inside and listen.
Listen to the beat of your own heart, listen to the whisper of your breath, listen to the call of your longings and desires, listen the roar of your love.
The love that flows through you speaks to you and shows itself this way.
For a moment, leave the commands and opinions of the world and be with the life inside you.
There is a sweeter, softer voice inside you, waiting.
These are the words of the maid Aibileen Clark, in Kathryn Stockett’s novel “The Help” to her little charge Mae Mobley. Every day Aibileen tells the toddler Mae these same words and gets her to repeat them back to her.
“You is good. You is kind. You is important.”
Words are powerful. And the truth is more powerful still.
So it makes sense that words which reflect the deepest inviolable truth can deliver radical transformation.
Do you ever wake up in the morning fizzing with a low level charge of anxiety, wondering if you will be enough for the day ahead or whether you have been enough, ever.
Maybe that thought, that internal tremor of self doubt, quietly charges your day, so subtly you don’t notice it. Maybe it builds on itself, and escalates, creating a pressure cooker in your inner environment. And causes you to question yourself, limit yourself, push yourself – or to silence yourself and retreat from spaces in which you are desperate to dance with all your free expression.
Maybe this happens so subtly you don’t even notice it. Maybe you’ve just got used to living under its rule or with the struggle of having to press on past it in order to live the life you want to live. Maybe you do notice it, but it feels too overpowering to subdue.
If this rings true to you, please know you are not alone in this experience. You are in good company. Everyone has it. Everyone has times when they forget who they really are and need to be reminded. And Aibileen was wise to that. She knew as confident and carefree as the little girl in her care was, that she would one day be challenged by a conflicting viewpoint that might threaten to take her out of her innate free spirit. She also knew how quickly an external viewpoint can feel like an internal knowing.
Which it is not.
It just feels like knowing.
Especially if you have heard certain words over and over again, or told them to yourself regularly. They can start to feel like unquestionable reality.They can become encoded in you but they are not you.
How can we break the code and rewire things back to where they truly are?
“You is good. You is kind. You is important.”
Aibileen cast these words around Mae Mobley like a spell of protection. A sacred reminder. A reminder so incandescent with the truth that any time Mae might stumble or wobble on her path and lose herself, the cell-memory of these very words would bring her home to herself.
This is the thing about words. And Aibeleen Clark knew this. They are not just symbols. They are not mere sounds. Words sparkle with energy and create powerful vibrations in our cells.
How quickly they can become a part of our being. Change the course of our day.
And here’s the good news, the great news. The amazing, liberating, life changing thing about words you need to know.
If words are so powerful as to seduce us into believing things that are false and misleading, and the truth is more powerful still, think about how powerful words which are true can be.
As powerful as it is possible for anything to be.
That expression “Speak the truth and the truth will set you free” is spot on.
And underneath all those layers of inherited or imposed self doubt and self judgement you know without a shred of doubt all you need to know.
That you are special. That you matter. That your unique soul deserves to shine.
You are more than enough. You are perfect. And your goodness flows through you like liquid gold.
“You is good. You is kind. You is important.”
Whenever you need a reminder, find the words you already know.
Listen to your soul, to what your instincts and individuality tell you and start to notice the voices that challenge that so you can create uncontaminated space around your truth.
Breathe, tune into yourself. Listen to your soul and interpret what it tells you.
Cast those words like a spell of protection around you every day.
Every time you give yourself a benevolent, gentle reminder of what deep down you already know for sure – you are creating the ultimate medicine. Actual inner medicine that is redemptive and healing.
You have your own words, but let me tell you this.
You are more than enough.
You spill over with goodness.
You are valuable.
You are important to the world.
You can relax. You’ve got this.
In your deepest personal space, you already know.
In this way, in every moment, you can welcome yourself home.
When I was a little girl living in Oxford, England, we used to go for a fortnight’s holiday to France every year, staying in a simple villa near a beach. Our lives in the city morphed into days of salty water, bright, bright sunshine, smells of bakeries, peaches and French cigars. The difference in the language, the food, the supermarkets and even the types of cars people drove made everything feel so exotic and all of this contributed to a feeling of special atmosphere, of having been lifted out of ordinary life, that I felt even at the ages of eight or nine years old.
But it is the coming back that I remember. As we switched from driving on the right hand side of the road, crossed the time/space boundary of the ocean between Le Havre and Southampton and found ourselves suddenly, increasingly, in more and more familiar territory I would press my face against the car window and feel something so profound it stands out to this day.
I had a sense that while nothing had changed, everything had.
That while we were only away for a mere two weeks, something inside me had shifted and the territory around me, though familiar, seemed to have shifted too.
It is fascinating that whenever we leave the routine and familiarity of our day to day lives and for however short a period time, we experience a sense of life touching us differently. As human beings, we take the energy of life deep inside us every time we breathe, and this creates a particular atmosphere inside us.
The scenery is enhanced somehow – the sights, sounds and smells more vivid. We can experience different parts of ourselves when we are away from home – feel new things blossoming and old things asking to be released. The common components of many of our holidays are the same and they include feeling relaxed, having more rest, doing more of what we love – reading, enjoying special company and meals, playing – and having an emerging expanded sense of time and space in which we feel comfortably at home.
We often have more immediate access to sources of intuition and inspiration, guiding us to having thoughts about things we want to do in our lives or change in our lives, when we get home. In short, our creative ability is ignited.
And with all of that, in this easeful sense of pleasure, a strong belief, an understanding – a knowing – that we can embody these feelings and experiences consistently, not just while we are away. Because they are closer to our natural state. We can take them home with us and they can take us home to ourselves.
But how? And when we step out of alignment with our natural state, how do we find our way back?
The Tantric meditation tradition has shown me that there are numerous techniques and practices to relocate me in this natural body of love. From accessing imaginable ability (meditating with photos and music and tastes and memories of your holiday) to using cellular memory (which is like muscle memory) to keep the vital energies that have been awakened coursing through our beings daily. These practices are simple, life enhancing and joy bringing. They involve meditating with our real selves and understanding how the overall sense of authenticity and belonging we often feel when we are away are, counterintuitively, showing us where our home truly is.
Practice
Next time you are away from home and feeling a sense of wider perspective and deeper self connection, explore through a journal or your own thoughts and meditations what those feelings are and where you are getting them from. When our beings are relaxed, our real needs and desires – the callings of our soul- come forward. On holiday, we can understand better what we have been missing in our lives and begin to explore how we might recreate that at home.
Write a list of some of those life enhancing qualities you have discovered.
Your list, for instance, might look a little like this
While we can’t recreate the exact conditions of time away, once we identify the specific soul nourishing components, we can be more mindful of bringing them into our lives, even in bite sized pieces. It’s amazing how small gestures towards ourselves can turn on inner lights. For instance, just going to the library or bookshop and getting a good book and placing it on your bedside table so you know it’s there; taking an extra five minutes for yourself here and there; going to bed earlier, taking up a new activity you enjoyed on holiday, gazing at a beautiful view.
It’s an interesting thing and the truth that when we start giving ourselves the things that nourish and nurture us, the response in our being is so positive we are encouraged to give ourselves more and more. And the harvest we reap from planting all these little seeds is higher vitality, deeper meaning and a peaceful and joyful experience in precious lives.
This is so simple and yet so powerful and I’d love for you to try it.
It only takes three breaths.
It can be done at any time, anywhere.
The Take Three Breaths meditation is for any moment in life where you feel the need to pause and check in with yourself.
You might be at a crowded, noisy airport, office or your own home. You might be stuck in traffic. Or you might be in the middle of a challenging conversation and need to centre yourself.
You can make it a special, regular moment of sanctuary just for you to enjoy – maybe sitting in a favourite spot in your home or outside or gazing at the sky or water if you love to do that.
It is lovely to take a Three Breaths moment with yourself at the very start and very end of every day.
The call to meditate is the call to notice and deeply feel how life’s energies are flowing in our beings right now.
Our primary relationship is with ourselves. As in any relationship, there is a craving within us to spend more time with ourselves. As with a lover, we feel the urge to connect, to discover and simply to “be with”.
Try it now.
Each breath is a full cycle of an inhale and an exhale.
You might have your eyes open or closed.
Take three conscious deep breaths and as you do so, let your loving attention move straight into your heart space.
Our breath enjoys a fullness there.
Take your time with each breath. Luxuriate. You might find yourself softly smiling as you meet yourself again.
You may have a sense of gazing or feeling or diving within. You may have a sense of being at an inner meeting with your eternal self, your unique essence. Or you may simply feel the peaceful, groundedness of the moment.
This three breath technique is both a union and a reunion.
It can become a delicious, supportive, self-connecting practice we can bring into our lives, several times a day, every day.
This simple and super feel-good practice has all kinds of benefits which reach beyond that moment and infuse our lives. It builds an emotional confidence. Your unique being feels nurtured, heard and seen. You know you are there for yourself.
I’d love you to try the gift of Take Three Breaths and let me know what you find.
Have you ever found yourself gazing at the most beautiful sunset or mountain or spectacular coastal view, yet been unable to take in the beauty because you were feeling so miserable inside? I know I have been in situations in life where I have been struggling so much on the inside that being in the most magical place in the world has not been able to lift my mood. I know how exquisitely painful that contrast is between inner and outer landscapes. It’s the sense of loneliness in a crowded room. It’s a heartbreaking rejection from life itself. How isolating it feels to be amidst beauty but not feel welcome there.
We often talk about making a sanctuary for ourselves to meditate in. We talk about choosing a favourite spot, in our home or in nature. We talk about making our special place, our inviting, super-comfortable. We suggest bringing in special objects to make it inviting – flowers, candles, oils. We might play music that we love.
The thing is, we can create the most welcoming and inviting space in the world for ourselves, but it all falls down if we are not providing that welcome and invitation on the inside. It’s our inner sanctuary that really matters. That’s the one we carry around with us. That’s the one that need to be available to us to dive into when life is calling us in challenging ways.
How can we take the beauty into a space which has no welcome, whose gates are closed even to the gatekeeper? We open that space when we welcome all of our life force – welcome thinking, welcome breathing, welcome emotion, welcome sensation. Not just tolerating it, but greeting, touching, embracing, enquiring about and cherishing everything thing flowing through us it with our tender attention.
Creating an unconditional welcome for ourselves in meditation can be a challenging practice and a journey, but a profoundly powerful and rewarding one.
Imagine loving yourself and life that much. Imagine how much beauty you could take in and how that beauty – all of life’s pulsating energies – could flow through you, refreshing, renewing and restoring you to that awareness of the sacredness of life, the sacredness of you.
It’s a practice we can do every day when we meditate. Learning not to resist ourselves, understanding where we might have a tendency to do so. Learning to greet whatever is calling us from our hearts. Learning to feel, learning to listen, learning to care. Just as with the beautiful outer scenery, being inspired, being moved, being overwhelmed with awe at the life-force within. All of these things are in the architecture of the inner sanctuary we want to claim for ourselves and we are the architect. Every time we say “I welcome my whole self”, we are placing a building block for our inner temple.
Both meditation and life are much easier and more joyful when we create this healthy, supple, free and sacred personal space. This is the very opposite of detaching, deleting, annihilating or alienating any part of ourselves. We can thrive in a meditation practice like this and thrive in life. It’s so, so important.
This continually evolving practice of self welcome has changed my life and truly allowed me to receieve the fullness of every one of life’s moments.
The truth is life’s energies are always welcoming us. What we have to remember is the skill of welcoming them back.
I think after all that is what our attention was made for, what it’s sacred purpose and its gift is. To keep welcoming ourselves back.
When you were a child, were you a space gazer, a cloud watcher, your vision resting on something, entranced, your mind drifting and dreaming?
Did a parent or teacher or other child ever ask you to “snap out of it”, “concentrate” or “focus”?
When you see a child staring into space, do you decide they must be bored and need something to do?
Ever been in that heavenly, dreamy, drifty, relaxed state of being – your mind roaming freely, unfettered and unfiltered – when someone suddenly snaps their fingers across your face?
Not nice, is it? Our nervous systems get a nasty jarring.
Never interrupt a daydream.
Daydreaming is part of our mind-body system’s intelligent healing processes. We need to let that happen.
Neurological studies show more than half our thoughts are daydreams.
When we dream, we heal.
When we dream, we process.
When we dream, we solve problems intuitively.
When we dream, we become inspired.
When we dream, we give ourselves space and time which our souls cry out for.
When we dream, our brains take a rejuvinating vacation.
When we dream, we innovate and create.
In the dream space, there is no filter, no censorship, no inner criticism. We let ourselves off the hook and our minds are released to do greater, deeper things.
We do our best thinking when we are not thinking about thinking.
No one creates anything special when they are “trying to create”.
Some of the world’s best inventions came when people weren’t even trying to invent.
Most art, poetry, plays, movies, video games and all the big ideas were “dreamed up”.
The drifting, dreaming mind does not lack discipline…the discipline called for, from us, is to put those snapping fingers away, release any value judgments biased towards “focus”, “concentration”, “control” or “mind mastery”.
And then we can unleash in ourselves all the treasures of the dreaming space.
Einstein was a daydreamer and a genius. He said, “The intuitive mind is a sacred gift; the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.”
Let your children dream.
And let yourself dream, too.
And see where it takes you.
Happy drifting.
“I have realised that you can have a thousand lives in one life.”
It was my birthday recently – quite a “big” birthday, as they say. I find myself reflecting on my life to date and on these words in my head, spoken to me by one of my dearest friends, who passed from this earth in his fifties. He really did live his thousand lives in one life and remained happy and free even through extremely challenging times – he was a huge influence on me. These words are profound. I believe you don’t have to colour code yourself in life, you don’t have to stick to the one route. Changing direction isn’t something shameful, it’s what every adventurer does.
Walking a number of different paths is the life of the explorer. Feeling the spectrum of emotions is the life of the heart. I have had thousands of lives in this one life. I love both the familiar and the comforting. I also love the unknown, the unpredictable and surprises. Sometimes I want to snuggle into my comfort zone for a while and that is perfect. Sometimes I want to push out of that same zone and feel a little bit terrified, a little bit thrilled, and that is perfect too. I want to grow, and when there are growing pains, I want to rest. Sometimes I want to take my time, sometimes I want to dive in. Sometimes I want to know all the answers, sometimes I want only to feel the tantalising mystery of life. I keep learning – every day. I have learned above all, that to fully appreciate and explore these thousand lives, I need to honour my impulses and instincts. They are the soul’s messengers. No one can tell you how to live but you. Anyone can tell you to enjoy your life, but it is your permission to yourself that counts. Have great days. Full days. Fully-being-you-days. That is my birthday wish for everyone.
Your meditation practice can and should evolve. We know that we are in a dynamic flow of life. Both our outer and inner worlds are defined by motion in every sense. The universe is not static, creation is not static, we are not static – we as humans are active, creative, evolving, transitioning, changing.
Women especially experience profound changes in their hormonal patterns and physical beings at different times of life. This means that no one technique will work for us forever. We need to be constantly exploring and developing meditations for ourselves that keep us in healthy, in balance and full of mojo whatever stage of experience we are in. We need to be athletes – sensitive to how we need to prepare and live in order to move with strength, flexibility and artistry enjoy the sport in our individual life. In this sense, meditation is a place we can go to in order to receive nourishment and personal training uniquely matched to our own spirit, and to all the ways in which we we want to express and create and receive in the dynamic flow of our own rich lives.
Some people think that doing our inner work is naval gazing or selfish. For meditators, this can be a big force of resistance we need to work on melting so we can open up fully and dive more deeply in the meditative space which is so healing.
The thing is, wall human beings desire to be healthy and in balance, at home in their own skins and able to show up in the world , feeling full in all the ways we are called to and long to, as individuals. Our work as meditators can involve melting, dissolving, shifting and moving skilfully, moment to moment in our lives and in our meditation skills, as if negotiating a path in which there will be all kinds of “Shoulds” “should nots”, shame, guilt, feelings of being selfish or unworthy and undeserving of the time and space we crave. Lets get this straight – lets remind ourselves – working within ourselves mindfully, heartfully, sensefully and sou-fully is HOW we are being called to live. It is in our wiring – the fields of science, psychology, neuroscience, biomechanics, anthropology, sociology and the arts all back this up. We are called to live from within, to exoplore within, to heal within….for the greater good of healing for the world.
Think about it like this – when you feel at home in yourself, happy, healthy, balanced and in love with life – do you feel more able to able to give? More able to forgive? More able to respond to others? Able to uplift? To create and live in vibrations which are healthy, happiness and harmonious for the whole world? That is why inner work and meditation are the least selfish practices on the planet.
The beauty of meditation is once you have decided you are going to meditate, you don’t have to decide anything else. You can start to relax, let yourself be, and enjoy the journey.
Here are seven things to consider as you take your journey, to make your meditation as delicious and rewarding to you as it can be.
Be Yourself. In the words of the old song “There’s no one else to be.” You don’t have to strike a lotus – or any other – pose to be a great meditator. Meditation is rich when we cherish, rather than resisting, our instincts. This can be the best “me time” you ever have so make it work for you.
Be physically comfortable. Meditation is a time when the parasympathetic nervous system does its awesome job of rest, repair and re-set. It works best when we cooperate with this process – that means listening to your instinct to relax. Some people feel more relaxed when walking in nature or swimming in the ocean. Others feel most at one with themselves when they are dancing. You might like sitting but there are many who get sore sitting for long periods and prefer to lie down. Make yourself super comfortable and at ease so you are not “holding on” physically or resisting yourself in any way. We are not meant to be “enduring” in this space – meditation is where we come to heal suffering, not increase it.
Delight in your senses. Our senses are pathways to all our rich connections with life. Rather than trying to shut out background noise, actively bring the outer soundscape inside yourself. Keep your eyes open if you prefer and watch the clouds making shapes in the ever changing sky. The same with taste, touch, smell. Allow yourself to be absorbed in each sense as it arises. This way you can absorb and be nourished by the elixir of the universe through all the pathways you have been gifted with.
Greet everything that comes up with a loving heart, moment by moment. Think about when you invite an old friend into your home for a chat. Do you open the door partially, then ask them not to talk about things, do you make them feel uncomfortable? No of course you don’t. You want them to feel welcome, make them comfortable, and give them all your spacious attention so they can talk about all that is going on with them. Give your thoughts, feelings and sensations the same active, loving attention. They are coming into a healing space – open the doors of your inner temple wide and give them a positive greeting.
Make it delicious and compelling for yourself so you will want to come back again and again. “You know what you love.Go there” (Sutra 98. The Radiance Sutras. Dr Lorin Roche.) We all have experiences where life seems to resonate with us in very personal ways and thinking about what you love to do, where you love to be, whom and what you love are all ways to get straight into your own soul. This can be the life force infusing your meditation – spending a few breaths filling your being with this state of love – savouring your aliveness.
Practice not flinching as you feel any tension in your body and your mind. As we start to relax and release tension, we feel everything we have been tense about. This is a natural part of the healing rhythm of meditation. Let yourself feel fingers of fatigue, the buzz of stress, the tugging from any unwinding – this is all Prana (life force energy) moving freely through your body. As you feel it, you heal it – things shift and you other notes and nuances are free to come through in your spontaneous meditation.
Try tiny bite sized moments of meditation throughout your day. 21st century meditators find great efficacy in this. We are really busy people and while we crave the relief and release that comes from meditation, we often get put off by the idea of “having to find the time.” Five minutes, absorbed in a loving moment with yourself and life can be all it takes. Cloud watching. Letting your mind drift, unfettered. Cherishing a few feel-good breaths – big inhalations, relaxing sighs. Eating a few squares of dark chocolate slowly, luxuriating in texture, flavour and the awakening of your pleasure centres. Having your favourite daydream. Pausing to really listen to a song that stirs you deeply. A series of spontaneous meditative moments arising during the day can be as deeply nourishing – if not more so – than one long session.
There is a fabulous scene in the 1999 film “American Beauty” in which Annette Bening’s character Carolyn Burnham – an estate agent who feeds herself all day with positivity mantras from the self- help industry to mask her total lack of self esteem – has a brief, private meltdown after failing to make a sale.
Alone in an empty house, she starts to cry and as she cries, she berates herself for her “weakness”, physically slapping herself and screaming at herself over and over again, “Shut up! Shut up! Shut Up!”
Within seconds, she stops crying, dries her tears, smooths her clothes and walks back into her world where appearance and image are everything and fearful walls have been built around that image to protect it from anything as chaotic as real feeling and emotion.
Bening’s character is modelling the “inner shut up” – the dominatrix that demands you suck it up, push it down, pull yourself out of it…do whatever it takes to make sure your inner experiences go unregarded and your real self, completely disrespected. Using the double poison of self repression and happy-clappy, manufactured positivity, she ironically casts a spell of bitter unhappiness on herself and all the others in her life.
How would you react if I suggested to you that every day it is likely you are investing a lot of energy in repressing and silencing yourself?
That the exhaustion and fragmentation you feel at the end of the day comes not from what you have experienced that day, but from what you haven’t allowed yourself to feel?
It is so easy to push ourselves and our feelings and reactions aside unconsciously, to overlook ourselves or, even worse, deliberately slap ourselves when we begin to feel our own self-expression rising up within us. There are all kinds of reasons why we do this: we often encode values at a very long age – values we have been given by schools, churches or critical parenting. We may have a deep fear of being seen to be “weak” by those around us; fear of being our real selves and thinking it better to project an image of someone stronger, better, more successful.
The trouble is, it backfires. No one likes to be hit. No one likes to be told to shut up. Imagine someone in your life were doing that to you all day, every day. How would you feel?
Pretty downtrodden, sad, lost and wounded, I would think.
Also, that which goes down, must come up. And sometimes it comes up at times and in ways we wish it wouldn’t – when we lash out at loved ones, snap at our kids, when our bodies get sick from all the slap-wounds and all the blocked energy of repressed feelings.
Every time we say to ourselves “I am wrong to think this”, “I shouldn’t indulge in this feeling”, “I can’t think about this now”, “I need to get over this and get on with it”, we are giving ourselves the slap down. And it is true, there are times in life when it is necessary and appropriate to park things. If you are a doctor about to perform brain surgery, you want to keep your mind focussed on the task. If you are driving a car, you don’t want to be drifting off into warm, fuzzy daydreams, you want to have your eye on the road.
But at some point, there has to be time to catch up with yourself fully, to play the full inner drama, to relish in every emotional connection you have made to life.
This is how we human beings have been designed for healing. We are meant to digest, process, experience, feel and heal.
This is where meditation is our biggest support, our therapeutic space, our perfect “me time”, our birthright healing space.
The danger is, that we may have got so used to avoiding and shifting away from our thoughts and feelings, that we bring this unconscious attitude into meditation. We may feel automatic shame or guilt when we have thoughts we think we are “not supposed to have” while meditating. When intense feelings and emotions rise up, we may try to escape them by deliberately turning our attention away from them onto something else – be it the sound of Om or a vision of emptiness. Meditation can be used as medication – as an anaesthetic – just like any other drug or disinfectant.
All those myths about “mind chatter”, “monkey minds” and “inner stillness” can dangerously impede the natural rhythm and flow of meditation. The inner shut up can actually stop us from meditating and subvert meditation itself into a place for control and discipline – the inner slap.
Your meditation thrives in the sacred space of your most tender, most open and curious and compassionate attention.
It can take a little patience and self- tolerance to cultivate an inner embrace and welcome all of yourself in meditation, but let me tell you, it is worth everything. Imagine being liberated from that constant inner put down. Imagine being able to live your life in a relaxed, easeful flow, experiencing the most intense things in life and the most ordinary, with an expansive and life-affirming field of awareness. Imagine being IN your body and soul, not parted from them. Imagine being IN your life, not separate from it.
I take my “catch up time” in a series of brief pauses throughout the day. As a busy working mother, this is has great efficacy and potency for keeping in touch with myself, and feeling healthy and inspired. As soon as I wake up, I spend five minutes allowing whatever is calling my attention to come forward. I have a “bring it on” attitude. Fragments of dreams mix with the motor of the to-do-list and hum in and out of concerns, tensions, anticipation and desires. It is like tuning up an engine before you start the car. I also bring in my own spiritual practices – prayers and protections for me and my loved ones. During the day, I can take breaks to pause and feel the touch of life on me. Anything from a moment’s trance or daydream to simply enjoying the touch of sunlight on my skin, the sound of bird calls or a song I like, the taste of my favourite tea.
If you feel you only have time to “come together with yourself” – to meditate – once in your day, my top tip is to make it at that time you transition from your action phase into your resting-and-unwinding phase. For many people, this means when you enter your home (or your commuter train or your walk to your house) after your day at work. Sit or lie somewhere alone, or take a walk, and begin to feel your whole being relax. As tension unwinds from you, you will feel it, so let it be felt fully. Remnants of unfinished conversations, moments of success and triumph, concerns, insights, plans – let them all come out to play and dance, process, communicate, meet and dissolve. Your nervous system loves this. It is in this way, your exquisitely wired inner healing system does its work. And let me tell you, it is worth the sacrifice your loved ones may need to make to wait five or ten minutes to tell you about THEIR days, for you to spend time catching up with yours. That way, everyone is happy and no one gets asked to shut up.
For more on meditations to suit the rhythm of your day, I recommend Dr Lorin Roche’s wonderful little book “Meditation 24-7”
You can download glorious, short guided meditations from this book, here: https://radiance-sutras.bandcamp.com/album/meditation-24-7
If you are interested in learning more about a delicious practice in which you can reunite with yourself at the deepest soul-level and which is massively practical for modern lives as well as deeply spiritual, my next Instinctive Meditation Workshop is in Brisbane on 29th August. More info here https://www.facebook.com/events/1023100621043196/
Thank you to my mentor Dr Lorin Roche for alerting me to this scene from American Beauty and the great discussion which followed.
